Let's all be a bit more STAN

Cathy's Saturday morning musings.

Yesterday I attended the funeral of a long-time hero of mine, Sr. Stan.

I first came across Sr. Stan when I was in college. I was studying Psychology and Theology and finishing my fourth year. I was writing my thesis on Attitudes towards Women and Prostitution in Ireland. It was in the pages of this research that I found Sr. Stan.

Until this point, I hadn’t known who Stan was. It was impossible to avoid her name when researching poverty and other social injustices in Ireland. She set up Young Social Innovators, the Immigrants Council of Ireland and Focus Ireland. WHO WAS THIS WOMAN?

I was kind of a stan of Stan, if you will. I went on to her website and found the ‘contact me’ tab and sent her a gushing letter on how much she inspired me.

I never heard back. Scarlet.

At the end of that year, after completing my degree, I applied to work with Focus Ireland. I remember after being interviewed by my now friend, Therese, calling my mum and saying “I definitely did not get that”. I did though, and I spent the next ten years working with Focus Ireland in a million and one different capacities. I felt that I had found myself a little bit, working with people who shared the same values and interacted with the world in the same way as me. It felt like a developmental leap.

You can imagine in my first year, working in the Focus Ireland Coffee Shop (the magic, chaos and invaluable nature of this place cannot be described. I was reminded of this yesterday meeting so many of my old teammates who are still fighting the good fight) the absolute stick in the mud feeling I had when Sr. Stan walked into the building. It was not a glamourous job, as you can imagine addiction and homelessness comes with a multitude of complexities and very difficult days. The level of respect that Sr. Stan had from every person in that building was palpable. From our managers, our kitchen staff, the people who had spent a tough night on the street. Everyone stopped for Stan. She was everyone’s guiding light in what felt like a hopeless situation. She just gave you hope.

As when you are in the presence of greatness, I stood back and just observed while questioning if I had the nerve to tell her about my embarrassing fan mail. She rolled up her sleeves and just got stuck in. She sat with people using the service and spoke to them with genuine care and respect, like equals. “Okay”, I thought, “she is actually sound, I’ll tell her”. She graciously laughed and gave me a hug. She asked me about me, we chatted. The gap between us was no more. We were just peers, working together, she didn’t’ want a gap. I believe she continued to go in and work there until as recently as this year!

During the mass, Br. Richard who was quite obviously chosen by Sr. Stan to celebrate her life, beautifully captured her spirit. In all the noise of the world and the contempt I often feel towards the church, Br. Richard said “we can sit in silence with those we don’t agree with, we can do that together”. It really boiled it all down to basics. Sr. Stan had no problem with being an outlier, he said, in the defence of dignity and respect. And that’s it. Simple. There’s Sr. Stan’s cheat sheet to life. All the other details are just details.

I looked around the church to the eclectic crowd and realised that Sr. Stan, unbeknownst to many of us, managed to bring us all together, even after her death. That’s who that woman was.

And while I’m trying to be more like Stan, did I get a sick enjoyment out of the rapturous applause that Michael D Higgin’s got vs Simon Harris’ meek one at yesterday’s service? Yes.

I am but trying.

Let’s all be a bit more Stan?

Stan:

/Verb- to work towards the greater good. To work for each other and together. To embrace our differences.